bitch don't kill my vibe.

I just want somebody to come over and listen to me complain about my life while we listen to music and smoke weed. I am so tired of being alone, it is physically draining to feel this alone all the time. I just want somebody to exist with. any takers?

these scars still remain

I'm not actively suicidal but if a car were coming towards me, I probably wouldn't make an effort to move out of the way.

I'm not where I belong.

I just don't know anymore. I think it's kind of crazy how in all this confusion of my life and everything thats happening I can still think to you and feel better. I thought I knew what I wanted. I wanted him. I got him but something still doesn't feel right. I still love you. I want to be with you. I want you to break up with your girlfriend and be with me. and not just at parties. I want you to be mine. all the time.

smoke dreams.

the taste left in my mouth after a cigarette reminds me of you. I do love you. just as a friend and I'm sorry that I hurt you. if it makes you feel better, every cigarette reminds me of you.

I breathe you in with smoke.

I like the taste of cigarettes and alcohol on his breath more than yours.

game of chance.

I push people away. it's what I do. don't think that it's just you. it's not. it's everybody. everybody gets pushed away.

I think I saw you in my dreams.

I just want to sleep for a while.
because when I'm asleep I'm not bothering anybody.
I'm not disappointing anybody.
I'm not sad.
I'm not in pain.
I just want to sleep until I'm okay.
until my life gets back on track.
until I'm mentally stable again.
until I don't want to die.

stitching up the seams.

tell me what your worst fears are. I bet they look a lot like mine.

<3

•2 days clean•