spring fever.

you're planing on visiting me in the spring. I'm so scared. I'm scared that you'll see my scars and think I'm a freak. I'm torn between telling you now and risking losing you or waiting until you find out. but I'll lose you then too. oh my god I'm terrified. I'm really starting to like you but I just don't think that you would understand. I'm sorry in advance. I am so sorry.

now everybody's singing lalalalalalala.

I don't know. I don't know if you think this is funny or some sort of game but it's getting annoying. you know that I am crazy about you and that for some reason I always come back to you. it's the (...) situation all over again. the worst part is that I know how this is going to end, but I keep it going, I keep talking to you and I keep falling for you more and more and you just don't care. I know you don't. I hate you for not caring. I hate you for being JUST like him. but I hate myself more for caring and for wanting you.

wind.

I love hearing the crickets outside and being able to sleep with the window open.
I love the breeze that dances in through the curtains and kisses my bare skin. it tickles my ear and whispers 'summer is almost here, darling. hold on.' nights like these are what keep me going.
<3
~American Horror Story season one and tea time.

I can't feel a thing anymore.

I fall in love with the little things people do.
the way they chew their gum, or the way they drive. the little things that make a person who they are. like the look they get when their favorite song comes on the radio. how they speak about something they love. I notice the small details in a person. I'm captivated by all the little things. whether it's a best friend or a family member or a significant other. the small things become a part of me.

don't listen to a word they say.

I love the beginnings of relationships. not necessarily the very beginnings but the part where you know their favorite food and their favorite item of clothing. where you might have to ask them their favorite book again but you have their favorite band on lock. where it's still okay to ask a million questions and you know that each day comes the possibility of learning something new. where you're still learning the curves of their body and the way they look when they're lost in thought. where you've already fallen in love with the way they breathe at night and their messy morning hair. where they can still find subtle ways to surprise you. and how you just know that there's an unspoken understanding of each other. you begin to learn why they are the way that they are. I wish relationships were like that the entire time. and maybe if you're lucky enough that's the way it is the entire relationship. but more times than not I've seen couples lose their love and have it replaced with anger.