I'm sitting here wallowing in my anxiety trying to figure out if tomorrow is the day I tell her everything.
I haven't been to therapy in months, and when I went is was because I was "working out some anxiety issues." she has no idea about any of it. the self-harm, the suicidal thoughts. nothing.
I want to tell her, I want to get help with it, I'm just afraid she's going to commit me.
which, in all honesty, wouldn't be too bad. It'd be nice to get away from my life for a little while and be around people who understand.
I just don't want my parents to know about any of this.
they've asked me several times abut self-harm and suicide. I've lied every time.
I don't want to throw this at them.
I've thought about it a lot, their reaction to it all.
even in my mind it's too much to handle.
I just want to get better, but I guess not telling the person who is hired to help me isn't going to get me anywhere.
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