I don't believe in being in love. I think it's all bullshit, really.
I love people. I love my family and my friends, but that's different than being in love.
I think "being in love" is just a dull illusion used to keep a relationship together when in all actuality the people involved should just walk away. but that's the thing isn't it? people don't know when to walk away, or they're too scared to. people cannot stand the thought of being alone and they'll go through hell to insure that they aren't. fear is love. love is fear. that's all it is. that's kind of fucked up. somewhere along the road we were taught that this life is too tough and too scary to handle alone. we were taught that we need somebody there to hold our hand through it all and that being alone is scary. fuck that.
I think that marriage is bullshit too. it goes back to being afraid to be alone.
the idea that I am one day going to find somebody to spend the rest of my life with is ridiculous.
nobody is stupid enough to want to be with me for the rest of their life and I'm not stupid enough to get myself into that kind of mess.
I used to be a firm believer in waiting until marriage but that just seems silly now. I don't think that I am ever going to get married, so why wait? and why be shamed if I don't? I don't judge you because you are waiting until marriage, don't judge me for not. I decided a long time ago that I was done getting my heart broken. I don't like relationships, they're messy. feelings get in the way. feelings are stupid. I think I'm just trying to find a nice way to say that I'm going to wind up using people. I refuse to get hurt again. I refuse to be in a relationship where there is nothing but hurt and anger and jealousy. I hate when people wonder why I am so cold. have you taken a look around you? this world is cold. I am just the product of a cold and broken world. what else would you expect out of a fucked up place.
"best way to not get your heart broken, is pretend you don't have one." -Charlie Sheen
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